Rogues’ Blog: Shopping Algorithm Replaces Routine With Something Approximately Orange

FICTIONAL SATIRE | All institutions, scenes and dialogue are invented. The target is institutional behaviour, not disabled people.

A fictional grocery algorithm has achieved a perfect substitution score by replacing a household favourite with an object from roughly the same colour family.

Its spokesperson described the choice as emotionally adjacent. A parent pointed out that the order was for cereal. The algorithm confirmed that washing-up gloves were also bright and sold in a packet.

A worker asked whether the customer had accepted substitutions. Stan made the preference visible and separated the changed item on the receipt. The family could decide what to do next.

The algorithm wants somebody to explain why delivering a bag differs from delivering what was ordered. Management has booked a seminar on bags.