Rogues’ Blog: Booking Fee Wins Award for Surprise Entrance

FICTIONAL SATIRE | All institutions, scenes and dialogue are invented. The target is institutional behaviour, not disabled people.

A fictional leisure centre has nominated its compulsory booking fee for Best Supporting Charge after it appeared during the final seconds of an otherwise affordable purchase.

The marketing manager wanted a dramatic customer journey. The advertised price establishes hope, registration develops character, and the fee arrives just as the customer reaches for their card.

A parent asked what the activity actually cost. The manager offered a map of the journey. Stan wrote the complete amount beside the first price, with optional extras separate. Bookings became considerably less cinematic.

The fee has complained that its role is now a factual line of text. Management may give it a loyalty programme, provided the membership charge can remain secret until the third act.